risky fitness

I had a powerful urge to reach my credit limit recently, so I bought a road bike. Actually the thought process went something like "I'd like to start riding my commuter bike to work more often, so what will make that easier for me to do?" So I went to a website and started looking at gloves n thangs and clicked around and lost my mind and found a decent road bike for about 45% off. Whoo hoo. This is a bike that I can't ride to work -that is hard to ride ANYWHERE just-for-fun in the city, really, so... yeah... what was I thinking again?

Anyway, so I got this bike. The Idea is to Ride It and Get Fit. To this end, I registered for Bike The Drive, where they shut down Lake Shore Drive on one Sunday morning a year and open it up to about 15,000 cyclists/tourists/fat guys on mountain bikes. It was really fun! It was 30 miles and I finished and felt good afterwards and I went with my friend Beth who has a really nice bike she never gets to ride either. We both wore cycling skorts (like bike shorts with the padded dirty-diaper-looking butt, but with a cute skirt wrapped around it so you look cuter than everyone else). We plan to ride together again an call ourselves the "Dorks in Skorts".

Today, on a semi-calculated whim, I went out and caught up with another cycling group. Their website (attached) looks all friendly and happy-go-lucky, and they organize rides all over and people come out and ride and whatnot. It sounded fun, just like Bike The Drive. On Wednesday night, they have a training group, and the description of the ride goes like this:

Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Training Ride: Wednesday Evening Training
REMOTE START: Roadies Dunkin' Donuts, Lincoln & California
6:30 PM
25-35 miles, 19 to 25 mph
Take your cycling skills and performance to a higher level. Join us for a fast paced training ride aimed at increasing your speed and improving your group riding skills. Practice rotating pace lines, close proximity riding and advanced bike handling while building fitness at a riding pace in excess of 18 m.p.h. Due to the need to ride in a tight pack, the fast pace and training specific nature of this ride, use of traditional style road bikes is strongly recommended. Recumbent, hybrid and mountain bikes are discouraged. A certain level of experience and fitness is expected. The actual pace of the ride will be determined by the ride participants.

I CAN DO THAT, I think. Granted, I have no idea how fast I can go, have no experience, and know nothing of riding in a group (I learned that there's this intricate set of hand motions that goes with the whole thing -not just your grandma's "right turn, left turn, stop" bullshit either. You're supposed to watch the riders ahead of you? and they, like, wiggle their fingers down by their butts when there's a crack in the pavement, or make the "alakazam!" snap at gravel, and kinda do a spank type thing when you have to move for a car...very odd.)

Anyway, I'm wearing my skort and my pink Nike workout top (like I imagine they wear in my sister's Yoga Booty Ballet video) and a windbreaker and a little red backpack with my lock and wallet and whatnot inside. La de da, I'm so cute. I pull into the Dunkin Donuts parking lot and its a pack of 20 boys in full spandex and bike jerseys, interchangeable lenses in their sunglasses (wearing yellow for dusk, of course) and, y'know, one bottle of water, one of electrolyte replacement fluid, blah blah blah.

"TRAINING rides will be faster (generally over 16 mph pace), and no attempt will be made to keep the group together. It is assumed that participants on a training ride are there to be motivated to push their performance to the next level. Riders are expected to be skilled and confident enough to be on their own if necessary."

Yeah, I didn't read that part until I got back.

One of the organizers was hanging behind me to help keep the pack together, I thought. A few miles into the ride, we were all stopped at a light and I kinda scooted ahead. A few of the guys went back to where he was and I heard them saying "what do you think?..." "can she keep up?.." "if it's all downhill she'll be fine..." etc. After that he stopped being polite and let me be last on my own.

We were in these neighborhoods where all the kids came running out and waved to us. I was clearly "the girl at the end because she's slower than all the boys."

It was like one of those after school movies about the girl who tries to join the boys' baseball/wrestling/soccer teams and struggles at first, but then becomes friends with the outcast of the team (in this case, the two fat guys who took the optional short cut) and then realizes she can do great things (make it home without a broken leg) through hard work, sweat, and perseverance. I made sure that one of the fat guys knew this was my SECOND TIME out on my bike. After that, they were really nice, all "if you keep this up, you'll be riding with the fast boys in no time!" and "whoo man, you're killing me!" if (IF!) I got in front of them.

HOORAY FOR FAT BOYS! I never thought I'd cheer fat guys in spandex, but there ya go. The underdogs have to stick together. Now for some dinner and plenty of Aleve. And yes, I'm going again.