OMG...

So, I never thought I'd partake in this whole BLOGGING thing. Does everyone say that? Blogging sounds dirty.
BLOG.
BLOG.
Buh-loooooggggg.
Blogblogblooobloo bloo bloooo.
:::flusssssh:::

I never heard of blogging before the... what was it? The 2000 or the 2004 presidential election? The one that sucked, whichever one that was. Anyway, I hear it's cleansing and therapeutic and that NO ONE WILL EVER READ THIS, therefore is a waste of time and a totally self-indulgent exercise. Oh, but wait! There is the false promise that one day some publisher/editor/columnist/humorist with connections and money to burn might read my private stash of inner monologue and say "let's sell some paperbacks and t-shirts! You're the next mediocre thing, baby!" Ohhh yeeeah, I can smell the sweet sweet revenue.

OKEE, let's get this dog n' pony show on the road. Here's a preview of things I'm most likely to talk about in/on (?) my "blog":
*Food and my issues with it.
*Poop and the frequency thereof.
*Boys and WTF is up with them?
*Shoes, clothes, and my lack of closet space and taste.
*Acne and my shiny, almost iridescent forehead: why, after 14 years, am I still dealing with this?
*The Magic-8-Ball: friend or foe?
*What's on TV?: I don't know, although mine is blaring in the background at least 6 hours a day.
*Odd things I spend my money on, then never use: used furniture, new sports equipment, organic produce that rots in my fridge because I don't know what to do with it, shirts that would look good on someone else...
*FAMILY ISSUES. FAMILY. ISSUES. We all have them, mine are nothing special, I just figure I might need to vent from time to time (especially in the late fall and through the holiday season), and thought I'd warn you ahead of time, dear reader.
*Politics (Dear Mr. O'Reilly: I said "holiday season" instead of "Christmas." SUCK IT.), current events, pop culture, music that makes me weep.
*Miscellaneous category: rare bursts of synaptic activity might cause me to have an *idea* about something or another.

And now, I will post my first blog on my "dark dots" template.
HURRAH! HURRAH FOR ME!
My first blog entry. Awwwwww....